Scrambling

This week did not go as planned. This weekend we were supposed to own the most beautiful house and be surrounded by movers and unpacking boxes. We don't, and we're not.

It has been an incredibly emotional, frustrating, sad, terrifying and exhausting few days as we realized that we were unable to close on our much-anticipated house on Friday. Our lender requires paperwork that will take weeks to get and suddenly all our happy plans hang in the balance as we realize we may lose this house we've grown to love.

Just on Wednesday we had our walk-through, and the house was clean, empty and move-in ready. We were excited. We happily took pictures in front of the house with the "SOLD" sign and now I feel foolish for doing so. I feel foolish for gushing about our new home, making plans for visitors and showing it off. I feel like it was too good to be true, and I can't even look at those photos since today we realize it may never be ours.

I have cried a lot. A Lot. And I've prayed. A Lot. I know in my heart that God has always taken care of us better than we imagine, and while I may briefly question why this is all happening and I am sure trying to have faith that He is in control and knows what He is doing. He will put us where we need to be, whether on Beech Knoll lane, staying with family while in limbo, or somewhere else entirely.

Our main prayer right now it a request for more time. Since our closing date has come and gone, we are praying that the sellers will be willing to wait on us even longer. We know we are good for the loan; we are just needing the time to finalize the paperwork. If the sellers say 'no', we lose the house and have to start all over on the search. {Please, please, say you'll work with us longer.}

We are also praying for direction. If the seller gives us a reprieve, then we'll need to determine the fastest course of action, whether it be waiting for the necessary paperwork (longest option), trying to find a new loan quickly that doesn't require the paperwork, or possibly adding cosigners to the loan to speed things along. Or suddenly raising a ton of money this weekend to pay in cash (feel free to donate). {ha!}

And regardless of the first two prayer requests, we are praying for housing. We have to be out of our rental home by the 1st, though I don't think the new tenants will be moving in until mid-July, so we may have a little extra time. Where to go from here, with all of our packed boxes, is still in question until we know more about the timeframe we're working within.

If you know me at all, you know I'm a worrier, and I am trying to stay as faithful and worry-free as possible (I keep telling myself it's not good for the baby!) but doing that is much harder than I'd like to admit. I heard a wonderful quote this week -- "My grace is sufficient for you for; My strength is perfected in weakness." I am clinging to this as a reminder not to give up but to keep persevering and doing everything we can to make this happen, and above all, trusting in His strength.

This weekend we came to my parent's house. I really needed to get away from the packed boxes that serve as reminders of our predicament. I needed a diversion. Or maybe I just needed my Mom and Dad. Or maybe both.

Good news is I got through this whole blog without crying. That must show acceptance of the situation and some acceptance that we may have to start over. The exhausting part is the rollercoaster of hope. Hope that the lender will accept an alternate document instead -- no. Hope that we can get another loan without the document -- likely not. And currently, hope that the sellers will extend. We're praying for a yes.

We'd love for you to pray along.