9 Month Checkup

Nine months. We took Adam to the pediatrician yesterday morning for his 9-month checkup. As always, he was weighed and measured, and not surprisingly, our little peanut is still a little peanut. Here are his stats:

Length: 28"

Weight: 16' 14"

Head: 17.5"

He has remained around the 10th percentile for weight consistently over the months, and his height is in the 50th percentile -- long and lean. The doctor has never been concerned by this. This appointment also required blood work, and we took him down to the lab to have his finger prick. At first poke he had no response, but just when we thought we just may get away without the waterworks, the first cry came out. He was not a fan of the nurse squeezing his little finger to fill her sample.

After he was bandaged back up we returned to our exam room and spoke with the doctor. The doc gave him a clean bill of health, blood tests were normal, and he declared him a "good looking boy", which of course we already knew. We spoke about his diet and nutritional needs, and we now have permission to start meats with him. Our active little man needs the calories. Meals have become more of an adventure these days as he wants to start self-feeding more. (I have become proficient at stain treating!)

At the very end of the appointment he received his Hepatitis B vaccine and the flu shot. We return next month for his follow-up Flu shot booster. And, undoubtedly, to confirm our peanut is still a little peanut.

What Motherhood Really Means

Last night we stopped over to visit our good friends' house to meet their new baby born in August. It was the first time we'd seen them since the birth, so of course we wanted to hear all the stories of their daughter's arrival and how parenthood is treating them. I was telling my friend that one aspect of Motherhood I didn't anticipate is how terrified I am by it. I don't mean that I'm afraid of being a parent. I mean that I am now utterly terrified at the thought of losing our child or some harm coming to him. That's all I could think about as Michael drove away with Adam last weekend -- that's my Everything in that car.

Michael and I talked about that as we drove to their house, about how we both still check to make sure he's breathing when he sleeps, or how our minds quickly fear all the worst-case scenarios during the 5 minutes we locked ourselves out of our condo with him crawling around inside. (Of course he was perfectly safe and didn't even take the opportunity to destroy or explore anything.)

It made me remember a Reader's Digest article that my Aunt Karen sent to me when I was pregnant. I pulled it out to send to my sister for her MOPS meeting and I realized I hadn't read it since I first received it. Of course on my first reading, I understood. Well, I thought I did. But now being on this side of pregnancy with a 9-month old son I am re-reading it again and it takes a whole new perspective. It takes a whole new truth. I thought I'd share this will all the fellow Mamma Bears out there.

Reader's Digest, February 1991

Condensed from Everyday Miracles by Dale Hanson Bourke

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What Motherhood Really Means

It will change your life, but not in the way you think.

Time is running out for my friend. While we are sitting at lunch, she casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." What she means is that her biological clock has begun its countdown, and she is forced to consider the prospect of motherhood.

"We're taking a survey," she says, half joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say carefully, keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says. "No more sleeping in on Saturdays, no more spontaneous vacations ..."

But that is not what I mean at all. I try to decide what to tell her.

I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes: that the physical wounds of childbearing heal, but that becoming a mother will leave an emotional wound so raw that she will be forever vulnerable. I consider warning her that she will never read a newspaper again without asking, "What if that had been my child?" That every place crash, every fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop her best crystal without a moment's hesitation.

I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important meeting, and she will think about her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her child is all right.

I want my friend to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five-year-old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather that the women's at a restaurant will become a major dilemma. That issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in the rest room. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years -- not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish his.

My friend's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is always careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his son or daughter. I think she should know that she will fall in love with her husband again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I want to describe to my friend the exhilaration of seeing your son learning to hit a baseball. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a puppy for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it hurts.

My friend's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I say finally. Then, squeezing my friend's hand, I offer a prayer for her and me and all the mere mortal women who stumble into this holiest of callings.

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Be Present

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,

"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

For a long time now I've been lost. I haven't been present in my life but instead have been fumbling along from day to day, just going through the motions. I wasn't living.

I am not sure when this began. For years (literally, years) now we have been wanting to move out of South Florida, and I restricted myself from looking too far down the road or making plans too far in the future. I wasn't attaching myself to this place in time. I was stagnant. I lost my job last year and lost part of my identity with it. Then Adam came along. I had a new, different identity, but as any of you with children can relate, months slipped by while I was adjusting to life with this beautiful creation and I put myself on the back burner

Adam will be 9 months old this week. It's time to reclaim my life. I am refocusing and re-purposing myself to Be Present, to put effort and care into all that I do.

This last weekend was the awakening I needed. Michael took Adam out of town to help out his sister, and I stayed home alone due to a conflict. I had tears in my eyes as they drove away and I wondered how terribly I'd miss them. This was the first time I'd be away from Adam for a night, much less 3 nights. Part of me wanted to do absolutely nothing but catch up on sleep and wait until Sunday, but, surprisingly, this other part of me came alive. I could run errands and dawdle in the stores. I could make a mess with my projects without little hands reaching in. I could clean the house and it could stay clean for just a couple days. I discovered this weekend all to myself was a gift.

I didn't rest but instead tackled the Mommy-Do list. (It's not like my body clock will allow me to sleep past 7:30am anyway.)  So in assessing what I did accomplish, I am actually feeling more relaxed because I no longer have these hanging over my head.

✓ Balanced the checkbook 
✓ Decorated for Fall/Halloween
✓ Sewed buttons / Repaired garments with the sewing machine
✓ Started my Experiencing God bible study
✓ Began collecting items for new craft project for Adam's room (details to come, hopefully)
✓ Designed and ordered my business cards
✓ General clean-up and organization
✓ Ordered Adam a back-up blanket/bear lovey for Grandma's house  
✓ Worked on a client's online store ... more to be done
✓ Worked on client's print design ... more to be done
✓ Started a lamp refurbishment project ... more to be done
✓ Purchased and mailed birthday gifts (still need one for my brother-in-law)


I know this transformation is part of God's whisper to me. I have been lost from my life but also lost from Him for far too long. I was caught up in our finances and fears, and though I was having conversations with God, I didn't have joy. There was talk but no actions. I was going through the motions in my faith, but I have finally heard his invitation again to come find Him. I hope Michael hears the call, too, so we can reaffirm our faith together. Worshiping as a couple makes us stronger, and though we have always has a faith-based marriage, I would love to have an active, involved communication. And I don't think it's coincidental that the timing of this realization coordinates with my start of the Experiencing God study. I've only been through Unit 1, and already I can see how I have not allowed God to work through me. I haven't been listening.

Sure, there's plenty more to do, but I promise not to put those on the 'I don't care when they're done' pile and instead in the 'motivated to finish' pile. I am Back. I am going to put effort and care into my appearance, my duties, my responsibilities. I am going to be accessorized and prompt and organized. I am going to be back on top of things. I am going to start living.

"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." Matthew 6:34

Goodnight, Sleep Tight

A few months ago I was with friends/fellow moms discussing favorite bedtime prayers, and we unanimously decided that the classic "Now I Lay Me" prayer, though sweet in its nostalgia, is actually quite frightening. I mean, if a child actually understood what he is saying in the line "If I should die before I awake, I pray the Lord my soul to take", he could have some major uncertainties about going to sleep.

Thankfully, my friend Marie, also a new mom, offered up a better alternative. She transcribed this from the movie The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, and it is a wonderfully sweet bedtime prayer. Special thanks to her for sharing it with me.
  

Time has come for me to sleep,
Lord, I thank Thee for Thy keep.
Watch this night well over me
And teach me, Lord, to trust in Thee.
Many sins I've done today;
Please, Lord take them all away.
Look upon me in Thy grace;
Make me pure before Thy face.
Care for children sick and poor,
Grant them, Lord, Thy blessing more
Care for Mom and Dad the same
This I pray in Jesus' Name.
Amen 

Fridge Art

Yesterday we had some scheduling conflicts and thankfully my friend Christie was quick to help out and watch Adam for us. On Tuesdays she takes her 15-month old son to music class, so being the super mom she is, she loaded both boys into the car and took Adam along with them. During the session the kids did foot painting, and I was ridiculously excited to have our first Picasso for our refrigerator. I have a feeling this and future artwork will become the basis of our seasonal/holiday decor.

Thanks so much, Christie!

Motherhood

If you're a mom, you'll love Motherhood. I spent the most enjoyable evening the other night at the theater with five of my girlfriends and their moms for the world premier of Motherhood the Musical. (The play is from the same people who created Menopause.)  This production won't change the world. There's barely a plot and it's certainly not deep (how can it be? There's a whole number devoted to the "Costco Queen"), but it is a highly entertaining and comedic look at all the aspects of motherhood -- sung by 4 amazingly talented women -- covering topics like what you think you need ("Nothing but the Best for My Baby"), how your persona changes ("Minivan"), and, of course, how your body changes, too ("I Leak" and the hilarious "Mammaries... How Great They Were" (set to the tune of "Memories" -- sing along!)).

The beauty of it is that no matter what stage of motherhood you're in, be it pregnant with your first child ("I'm Having a Baby") or a single mom ("Every Other Weekend") or a Grandmother ("Grannyland"), you will find something to relate to, which, I think, will make it all the more watchable again in the future as you move into a different phase of motherhood.

I am so glad I saw this with my beautiful Mom. It was bittersweet to see her response to the empty-nest song "When the Kids are Grown", and I felt so loved (and loved her so) while listening to the tender, tear-jerking song "Now I Know," describing perfectly how that now that [I] am a new mom, I know how she felt about me when I was born (and still does).

To me, the most poignant song was "Danny's Mom".

I may never be a movie star or see my name in lights.

I may never sing in Vegas to sold out crowds at night.

I won’t ever write a symphony like Beethoven or Brahms,

But the spotlight always shines on me because I’m Danny’s Mom.

I was in tears realizing so clearly and forcefully the truth of that. How amazingly blessed I am that God chose me to be Adam's Mom. How powerfully I love him and love nurturing him -- to be his mother is enough; it is all I need. It is a role and responsibility I cherish.

If Motherhood comes around, call up your mother and girlfriends and have a Girls' Night Out. It's a guaranteed laugh and a knowing nod to one another, and who better to share it with than your fellow mommies who've been there, done that.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Nephews

Adam, Mom and I have returned from our impromptu trip to Kentucky to visit my sister and her family over her Fall Break, and I believe we have finally recovered from the 16+ hour drive!

For me, the trip had 3 objectives:

1. Gather all the Elder nephews together for the first time

This was a special trip because it would be the first time that my sisters and I would be all together with our sons, and the first time Mom would have all her grandchildren (all boys!) together. My sister Kim would be driving from Illinois with her 6.5 month old son Jake as well. It was so fun to have Adam and Jake together, and though they are 7 weeks apart in age, they are on the same level physically. Both are crawling and pulling themselves up, and Kevin (10) and Kyle (almost 8) were wonderful with their cousins. They would build towers of cups for them to knock down, feed them, walk them in their strollers, but mostly just played with the boys and made them laugh. Kyle loved playing peek-a-boo and Kevin would just sit and talk with them and carry them around. Older cousins make great babysitters! 

Once we realized that both little boys loved to knock over cups we started baby crawling races. Either Kevin or Kyle would set up the tower on one end of the living room, and then two of us would let go of Adam and Jake and watch them race to the end.

Adam most often made it there first, but on the occasion Jake did, Jake would crawl up to the tower, sit down, and admire the tower before making it fall, often allowing time for Adam to swoop in and topple the cups first.

Though they didn't really notice each other for the first day or so (even crawled over each other at times), by the end of the visit they began to see the other and share/steal toys. On the whole, Jake and Adam are quite the opposites, but here's hoping they'll still be best buds!

2. Experience Autumn

October in Kentucky: the air is crisp, the leaves are changing, it's socks and sweaters and feels like football and hearty stew.

We make a trip or 2 to Kentucky each year, and Autumn is my favorite time to visit. If I am there this time of year, we always go to the pumpkin patch.

Biwater Farm, a local farm and farmer's market, has an AutumnFest every year with a spooky farmhouse, petting farm, hayrides, trike track, and more. It was a gorgeous day for us to go visit and spend a few hours taking pictures and enjoying the attractions.

Bottom line -- If you want to fall in love with Kentucky, go in the Fall.

Our Pumpkin

Spooky Farm House

Petting farm

The out-takes do not need to be seen.

Rubber Ducky races

The boys insisted on pushing the strollers.

3. Stock up on UK gear

I don't consider myself a die-hard UK fan. I mean, I will never have a room in my house (much less a mailbox) dedicated to the Blue and White, but it's fun to be back in Wildcat Country and feel the pride of my Alma mater. UK apparel is available everywhere! And we can always count on the Vans to give Adam a jump start on the Kentucky gear. For the UK-Ole Miss football game we had to deck out Adam with his newest apparel. Each time Gramma and Aunt Angie went out to the store they came back with something for one of the boys. Here's Adam's new hoodie sweatshirt and paw-print tennis shoes.

There's one more UK ensemble I will post a little later, so stay tuned!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

It was a wonderful time there that went far too quickly. It was so hard to leave, and I cried when I hugged my sisters goodbye. Sisters have special bonds, and I am blessed to have two of them.

As I drove away and headed farther and farther and farther south, I felt it in my soul -- I fit up there. I should be up there. It's where Michael and I and Adam belong. God willing, we'll get back there permanently someday, hopefully soon.

Salute to Daniel

This week we had the opportunity to introduce Adam to the last of the immediate family. Uncle Daniel, home on leave from California and the Marine Corps, came to visit his and Michael's sister Megan and family in the Jacksonville area. Since he was so close to us, too, we hopped in the car and made the drive to see him and made the introduction.

Our focus this trip was all about Daniel, and I hope he felt special and loved. In the next couple of weeks he will be deployed to Afghanistan (having previously served in Iraq) for a 7-month tour. Megan is so thoughtful and was sure to take us to the beach, have an early birthday cake for him one night and a full Thanksgiving dinner another.

Daniel, thank you so much for doing what you do alongside the other men and women of the Marine Corps. We are sad to see you deploy, but we are so proud of what you have and continue to accomplish. May the next half year go quickly, and may you and your fellow comrades be safe from harm's way. We will think of you and pray for your safety and eagerly anticipate your return next spring. We love you!